Mapped Out Your Lies…

Mapped out your lies, and guess where it’d, led (past PARTICIPLE here!)???  Straight, into my H-E-A-R-T, like that dagger, dipped in POISON you’d, STABBED me with!

Mapped out your lies, it’d led me to the stars, and yet, unfortunately, there’s NO air for me to breathe high up in space, and so, naturally, I’d started, SUFFOCATING, and I needed to quickly get back down to EARTH (Houston, We have a PROBLEM!!!).

Mapped out your lies, and, unlike all the times previously, I’d decided, to NOT, hunt for that, “lost treasure”, ‘cuz I’d gone down this same path, a million to one times before already, and, it’d gotten me, NOWHERE fast, and so, why would this time be any different?  Oh I know, because I still have that, false hope that you will, love me right, is that it???

what that looked like, before the FIRE got, started…image from online

Mapped out your lies, and, I’d set that, map to hunt for the lost treasure (more like BULLSHIT!), on F-I-R-E.

And, as I watched everything burn, inside that tin keg, I’d, added in more of the things we shared, the photos of us, those stupid, love letters I couldn’t part with from before, oh, those god damn, trinkets, lingerie (don’t need ‘em anyways, bought my own here!), along with ALL the SHITS you’d given to me, to MAKE up for what you did, time and time again, from before…

And, along with that map of your lies, it’d created, a HUGE bonfire that I’d danced around in my own, backyard (and no, don’t worry, the FIRE wasn’t SPREAD throughout my neighborhood, kept that contained!!!).

and here’s, what it looked like, now…as I’d, BURNED it (feel free to REPORT me as an ARSONIST!!!)…Photo from online

A Pas De Deux, One-Lined Poem on Breaking Up

Going at each other’s throat for what seems like an eternity, when all we need, is to, take a step back, and let go, and part ways, for good!  Translated…

We’d been, STUCK in the Revolving Door Too Long, and You are Telling Us, that Any Way We Turn, is the, Exit.

getting STUCK! Photo from online

Sometimes, we just, have to, RAM our heads into the walls, getting that fractured skull, to finally realize, that hey, we’re doing it all wrong, there’s, an easier way to end this.

Tolerant of Cheats, BUT, NOT, L-I-A-R-S…

This folks, IS, how this, world, WORKS!!!

We are, more tolerant of cheats, BUT NOT of, LIARS.  And why is that???  I mean you lie, because you had, CHEATED, and, therefore the act of, cheating would be considered an, “original sin”, and yet, why don’t the world hammer down on the CHEATS more, than they do, the liars?

Is it because, once a man comes clean, that means, at least, he was willing to, take the responsibilities for his own, BAD actions of, CHEATING, and that made him, oh so, AMAZING (b/c he’d, MANNED UP???)?  Is it because, we women, are socialized to look the other way, to always forgive our HAS-BEENS (yeah, that’s what you all are!!!), for cheating on us, for whoring around with your free FUCKS (don’t pardon me here!!!), but because you’d told us the truth, that gives you that, GOLDEN STAR, that absolves you from EVERYTHING EVIL (cheating, lying, yada, yada, yada) from before?

Tolerant of cheats, but NOT of, LIARS, after all, lying IS, the FIRST commandment, and, what does cheating come under???  Third and FOURTH (thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife AND thou shalt not commit adultery, remember those???).  Tolerant of CHEATS, we women will always keep on forgiving you losers, and that’s why you continue to believe you can, get AWAY with cheating on us, because, at the end of the day…

Surviving You

I had, and it took me, FOREVER to, finally, do it too!

Surviving you, I finally did, and, that was that, nothing more to say about what’d happened to me, there’s just, no need, for that, constantly looking back to that specific moment in time for me anymore.

Surviving you, I already did, and, you will, NEVER, survive me (the shoe’s on the other foot, how does THAT feel, huh???).  Surviving you, it was, hard, living in, the muted cries, as I was, muffled up, from speaking, and everybody around me called me a LIAR, told me to, STOP saying things that weren’t, true, but, you did, ATTACK me.  You’d, touched my “pee-pee” (that’s what you’d called my genitalia, remember???), and, every weekend I’d gone back to see you, you’d, used the excuse of helping me heal, and, because the ointment you’d rubbed onto my genitals actually reduced the burn and the redness, I believed, that you could, heal me (when later in psyc 4361, believe that the course number was: Abnormal Child Psychology, I’d learned what you did to me was Munchausen by Proxy, it didn’t click back when I took that course, because I had NO memories of how you’d, MOLESTED me!)

Surviving you, I already did, you’re, already DEAD, and from what I’d heard (b/c I wasn’t, present physically, to WATCH you D-I-E!), you’d, suffered, at the, very end, lost ALL that you’d ever cared about: your external appearance, you’d, SUFFERED, until the final breath (which was, a good thing!).  Surviving you, I did, and, I won’t need to, get back into, that survival mode which I used to live under in my childhood years anymore.

Surviving you, and now I’m done, and, let’s see, how you will be able to, survive  ME!  You won’t be able to, not like I already, H-A-D, and, thank you, for the, ABUSE and NEGLECT!

See, says WHO I am, an “ingrate” (thanks, you MORON, and no offense, you KNOW who I’m talking about!), I’m still, more than, grateful toward, ALL who’d ever, done me, W-R-O-N-G in this, life, thus far…

Love Turned on Us, Like that, Wind…

Love turned on us, like that, wind, it was originally, smooth, gentle, a light breeze from only, a SPLIT-SECOND ago, and the following, it’d turned into, this, raging wind.

Love turned on us like that, wind, totally, unpredictable, uncontrolled.  Love turned on us, like how the pages of that book, flipped, so quickly, that we can’t even, catch our breaths, let along, catch up to it.

Love turned on us like that, wind, I will NOT get, left behind by love, so I’d, run, fast as I can, to catch up, and, there were a couple of times, that it seemed, that I was about to, grab a hold of love in my hands, but, in a split second, I lost sight of it.

what that, looked, like…violent, gone in an, instant…photo from online

Love turned on us like that, wind, and I’d had it with this, unstable love, and I don’t want it anymore, I do NOT care if it is, love, I don’t want it!

Love turned on us like that, wind, one minute it was still, sunny, in a split second’s time, the skies grew dark, the thunder rumbled, then, the DOWNPOUR, came, H-A-R-D………

Love turned on us like that, wind, well, I can only, roll with it, and I’d, lost total control of the, steering wheel, there’s nothing I can do, to save myself, let alone, you, so yeah, that would be how, we, break!

Surrounded by the River of His, Lies…

She was, surrounded by the river of his, lies, and, despite how she’d, begun to, tune him out, his lies, they still, flooded her over, there’s no, stopping them from swallowing her, whole.

Surrounded by the river of his, lies, she felt that panic from within her mind, rising up, like acid, slowly, traveling, upwards in her, esophagus, and then, she’d, vomited, purged all his lies, out!

STUCK, TRAPPED, in those, dangerous, rapids…photo from online

Surrounded by the river of his, lies, she’d, paddled hard, using her hand, she didn’t even have the oars, suited for this, white rafting HELL that she’d found her self in.  Surrounded by the river of his, lies, his lies came at her hard, like the, raging waves of that, rapid.

Surrounded by the river of his, lies, she almost got, swallowed whole, but, she’d struggled, to break her self free, to save her own, life.  And, despite how those lies he’d told her, that she’d taken to be, truthful, they’d started, fading, dissipating, and then, the water was, calmer then, and she’d found that opening, and, paddled her way, out into, the cove, not knowing, what awaits her, in the, deep, dark waters.

But she knew, that anything would be, a HELL of a lot, better than, getting, trapped, inside that, delta, where she became, stranded, by his, lies.

The Result of Her Rape, Being, the ONLY Child She will, Ever, Have

How can this be, fair, huh???  It isn’t, and FATE surely THINK it’s funny, but it’s, actually way too, CRUEL!

The result of her rape, being the ONLY child she will, EVER, have, and she’d, looked, at him, with the rapist’s, bluer than blue eyes, of that night that, left her, broken…

She should’ve gotten aborted, I mean, the rest of the world would understand, WHY she’d wanted to kill IT (because the sex of the zygote was unknown then…), and she would’ve, only, only that she’d found out, too, late.

So she was, FORCED to, carry the SPAWN of SATAN, full-term, and she’d gone through, a whole of, more than twenty-FOUR hours of painful labor, for this SATANIC child to, come out of her.

The result of her rape, WAS, this only child she will, EVER, have, because, after she’d had him, she’d found herself a good man to marry, who loved her son, and her too, despite of her, past…she’d wanted to, give him an offspring, and no matter how hard they’d tried, they just, couldn’t, get pregnant.

Turned out the birthing of her first born son from rape, totally and completely, TRAUMATIZED her, causing her to become, infertile completely.

And now, this son of hers, whom her husband loved dearly, and was raising as his own, because of how much he loved his wife, is a reminder, of how she was, raped, and every time she’d looked at him, every time he’d called her mom, she’d felt, nauseated…

The result of her rape, being the ONLY child she will, EVER, have, and there’s no bargaining with God (‘cuz God’s PHONE had been DEAD, since that very night when she was, raped???), and, she’d hated her own young, despite knowing that she should, love him, unconditionally, because she is, his, mother…

But how can she, when he’d, taken away ALL the possibilities of happiness, she could’ve gotten, away???

The Feathers of that, Bird…

The feathers of that, bird, no longer, “flocked” together, as the skin conditions set in…

We were, once like, the feathers of that, bird, weren’t we, flocking together, but, through time, we’d, slowly, drifted from each other, from the values of what this “home” we once shared meant.

The feathers of that bird, no longer, flocked together, and, the bird just, kept, plucking its own plumage out, piece by piece, until it became, completely, BALD!

what became, of, “us”…in that, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE, state! Photo from online

The feathers of that, bird, we no longer are, and, although it’d hurt like hell, having to, PLUCK out every one of these, feather we once were together, those were, the wonderful times of love we’d, shared, a long, long, long, long, long (5 longs oughta be, long, ‘noug???) ago.

But, that’s all, done, as this lone bird is now, flying, SOLO on her own, and, from high up in the air, I see, everything, in plain, sight, such a beautiful view from up here, without you, pulling on my, legs!

and this, was what came, afterwards…we’re, completely, “nude”…photo from online, and U-G-L-Y!

Trapped, Inside, a Winter, Storm

Without ANY signs of spring, in, sight…

Trapped, inside, a winter, storm, this was, what this had been, and winter had, taken over, our, worlds, locked us in, and we got, NO fire, nothing to burn to keep us warm, only, each other, but, I don’t want you near me, so I go and, hold tightly, onto, Teddy! (that STUFFED bear from childhood???)…

Trapped, inside, a winter, storm, we were, right at the center of it all, the snow fell hard, the wind raged, there’s, the dark clouds, gathering overhead too.  Trapped, inside, a winter, storm, with NOWHERE to escape, I’d, boarded up the windows and the doors, with the wooden panel I’d had, left over, in the basement…

getting BURIED ALIVE here! Photo from online

Trapped, inside, a winter, storm, somehow, I’d still, managed to, stay, as warm as I possibly can, but, the warmth still, wasn’t, quite enough, there’s, something that I’d, longed for…love, from you.

And yet, you got, NO love for me, and so, I’m totally, desperate now, longing, needing, desire the love that never, was, and I know I’ll surely, FREEZE, to death, but hey, who can I blame???

NOBODY, for I was the one, foolish (yeah, yeah, I still, admit too, ‘k???), enough, to fall for you.  And now, it’s too late, to save my self!

Quenching My Thirst with Your Lies

Quenching my thirst with your lies, this was what you did, and yet, after, I’d, downed bottle after bottle of your, lies, the thirst still didn’t, quite get, alleviated…

Quenching my thirst with your lies, yeah, uh, you can’t, because you’re lies only left me high and dry, and, I’d been, living in this drought for what felt like an, eternity, I’m in, desperate need of, water to save my self, and that, is what you can’t give to me.

So I’d decided, that it was, over, finally!

what that looked, like…with everything drying up, and CRACKING open!!! Photo from online

Quenching my thirst with your lies, looking back, I now know, how foolish I’d been, to keep on, allowing my self, to fall repeatedly, for the lies you’d, sold me on.  How you will, NEVER betray me again, after that last time, and then there came, another, another, another, “last times”, when is it, ever gonna, end???

Quenching my thirst with your lies, it’d only left my body, depleted, of the needed, water, I’m now, dehydrating, and dying of, thirst here…

Quenching my thirst with your lies, it won’t work, not again, not this time, or the next, and the times after that, so I’d, ended up this drought I lived in for too god damn long.

And, the moment I said my good bye (it was actually, a “bad” bye!) to you, the rain came pouring down, and it’d, quenched my thirst, from head down to, toe, inside and, O-U-T!