Caught, in-Between Life…

Caught, in-between life, that is, what you’ll, always be, living, this dual reality of yours: a good and fitting son (yeah right!) during the daytime, a DEADBEAT father who BEAT the shit out of his own baby girl at night.

And you will get caught, in-between life, with NO way out, as those barred walls grew taller, taller, taller, and taller every second that comes to pass.

Caught in-between life, you won’t find a way, to fit into, either one of these lives you had now find yourselves, in, because you CAN’T have it both ways, because you CAN’T possibly, spend all the time with all of us that we need you to, after all, there’s only, ONE of you, and, how many of us again???  Too many to C-O-U-N-T, I’m afraid.

the in-between places like this???查看來源圖片and, getting, STUCK!  Photo from online

Caught in-between life, getting pulled and tugged on like that rope that’s about to S-N-A-P, in that tug-of-war, and I’m still NOT responsible for how @#$%ED (maxed out!) up this “game” has, become here.  Caught in-between life (and no, that’s not like those thresholds, where those invisible fairies that only young children can see exist either!), and there’s, NO way out, as that exit sign destined for you, is still, far, far, far, far, far, far (six fars oughta be, far ‘nough!), down this god damn road that you’re, currently on.

And, whew!  What’s that, oh wow, that’s my Ford ’65 Mustang convertible, speeding PAST you, as I’m still, driving, with that TOP down, speeding down this four-lane, toward my CASTLE, where, TWO hungry DEMON doggies await their daily portions, tata, toodaloo, see ya, and, wouldn’t wanna BE YA!!!

These Distorted, Words…

This distorted, words, how they’d, come out, wrong, they weren’t what I mean to say, and I got it all thought out inside my mind too, only, only that when they rolled off my tongue, it’s like, they’d, taken on a life all their own, and I can’t, control them!

These distorted, words, how they’re all, bent out of shape, with the jagged corners, uneven edges and all that, they’re not, smooth, nor silky to the touch, oh no, instead, they’d, CUT, into the flesh, like those, broken shards of glass.

what the words, looked, like…查看來源圖片hard to read, isn’t it???  Found online

These distorted, words, why are they, distorted, I mean, did something erode them (like stomach acid, like how it rose from the pits of our stomach when you have G.E.R.D.?), make the so sour, and sharp?  These distorted words, I tried to ignore, and was able to, somewhat, but, my ears aren’t, with that perfect filter install in them, so, some things are, bound to, get past, and infiltrate in.

And, those scattered distorted words, are the ones, that hurt me, the most, and there’s, nothing I can do, to STOP their impacts on me, guess, I’ll just have, to reinstall that brand new insulating system, that works better, huh???

Life, in the, Intertidal, Zones

This is life, in the, intertidal, zones, sure, there are, a TON (literally!!!) of crabs, shellfish, and other forms of crustaceans living organism offered to us, residents here, but, it’s also, not safe, because you don’t know when the waves are gonna, come rushing in, and if you’re a newbie here, chances are, you will get, SMASHED by those waves that CRASHED against those rock formations…

But, for those of us who’d, SURVIVED through those earlier inexperienced pasts of our own, we tend to, fare way better!  Life, in the, intertidal zones, it’s always a fight for survival, but, we’re all, used to it, life IS hard, that’s, a F-A-C-T, and we’d, adapted ourselves, to that fact, ‘cuz, otherwise, what else can we do?  I mean, we can’t, learn to live outside, of our own, natural, habitat, that’s, just not how it works with us, lower orders of, living organisms.

what we are, “composed” of…查看來源圖片“chart” found online

Life, in the, intertidal zones, you learn, by experience, to watch the waves, and become, seafarers by nature, even though, it may not be what we were, naturally, born with, this technique, to read them tides, but we all, learn the ways of the seas, eventually, if we survived, through our, earliest, most, vulnerable, years.

And many of us who DO survive through it all, we become, the top of our own, separate, food chains and food webs, and may of us, are vegans (meaning we don’t eat MEAT, but those, seaweeds, algae at all!).

The Understanding I Gained from Daikon

The understanding of your self that you finally gained, via, a chance encounter with a vegetable you were, cooking up, these lessons come in all sizes, shapes, and forms, and at any time in life too, don’t they???  Translated…

The daikons are in season, taste refreshing, and it’s, cheap too, I bought a round and plump daikon, it was unbelievable it’d only cost me ten-dollars N.T.  I took it home, and started selecting the way I shall prepare it, one, chopping the daikon into chunks make it into a pork rib based soup; there was also the options of slicing the daikon, and make it into a miso soup.  There only a few people in my house, not that many, guess, I’ll, split up the portions and cook them separately then, I’d sliced up the daikon in half, then, I shall, make that final call.  And, there are the Taiwanese chopping knife or the Japanese knife, but this isn’t up for debate, I suppose, I’d picked one out closest to me, cut the daikon, leaving a half on the chopping board, the other, to the side.

It’s time for that final call, I’d tilted my head to think, do I, chunk, or do I, slice?  At this time, I’d heard a loud thud, that piece of daikon left to the side had, rolled onto the floors.

I’d picked “her” up (I’d assigned the genders to the roots based off of my instincts, like the lotus roots are, males), with my chopping knife, ready, waiting for my commands, of slicing, dicing, or chunking, then, that loud thud came again, ahhhhhhhhhhh, that half a daikon, rolled to the ground, again, my free hand had problems grabbing the item steadily, and after several rounds, she’d, rolled clockwise, and she’d, rolled around, counter-clockwise, I’d stated, in an even tone, “Behave your self!  Daikon!”, I’m not, bent over, and it looked like I was, playing with the piece of daikon then.

illustration from online圖/陳佳蕙in meditation with that daikon over your head here…

Hey?  When did I become, this gentle  As I began preparations, the memories button went with the tempo to which I’d chopped up the daikon, as I chopped on, there came, the moments in the past when I was, impatient, easily angered, not letting anybody slide because I have reason on my side.  And, many an afternoon later, an old friend had, reminded me of a certain segment of these, footages in my mind.

That day, my friend, M and I met for coffee, the two cups of coffees, sat in the elegant cups, and, as they were delivered to the tables, there’s, that flair about them.  M and I both loved those stylish china, as we oohed and ahhed over the cups, we’d finally, extended our hands out, and found, that one of the cups wasn’t even seventy-percent full, I felt at ease, battled for that cup, with that ease in my mind, telling my friends, “it’s quite all right, I’ll have the one with the less”.  At that very moment, we looked at one another, smiled in synchrony, spoke in synchrony, haha, back in Beijing…………

M and I had met up in Beijing, we were both living in China temporarily because our husbands were assigned to China to work temporarily.  Back then, the two sides weren’t as kind to each other as the two sides are now, everybody felt the pressures of coming from across, and living in China, the best way to de-stress was going out to the streets with the shops that foreigners hung out often, to dine, to drink coffee.  One afternoon, we’d ordered two cups of coffee, the handmade coffees weren’t a thing then, I can’t even remember how we had our coffees now, what’s worth mentioning, was how the waiter gave me the one with only half the cup, and without any hesitation, I’d told the waiter.  Oh, there’s not enough coffee, I shall, give you, a brand new cup, the waiter didn’t hesitate either.  Shortly enough, the server came in careful steps, delivered me a full, overflowing cup of coffee.

I don’t think I told my server thanks, I think I said something like, “make sure this doesn’t happen again!”, or something of the sort.  As the waiter worked, then, he’d delivered a plate with two slices of watermelon, said that it was on the house.  And, I don’t think I said thank you either, I’m sure, that the words that kept circling in my mind was “I was right!” believed that the waiter’s gestures, were a way of making up for his mistakes from before, and I wasn’t able to feel how thoughtful he was.

I think, since the years came to pass, I’d, learned the lessons, that I need not have that “righteousness” on everything, to help me cope with the sudden changes that came at me in life.  There are, the unplanned visitors in our lives, that we were, ill-prepared for, and, we couldn’t ready ourselves for these things, these people that came our ways; and because of this, the hardships of the winters shall, eventually, pass too.  Just like dealing with those two cups of cups with not enough volume in them, I’d felt different toward this cup, compared to how I’d, felt toward that cup from my past.

That day, that daikon that was round and plump, witnessed my enlightenment in, changing a thought.

And so, this, is what you’d, come to understand about your own tendencies in the way you behaved from before, how if the reasons are on your side, you wouldn’t let anything or anyone slide, because you were, right.  But now, you’d, trimmed off those jagged edges of yours, and become, smoother going, you are better at, taking the perspectives of others, even when you KNOW you are right, you became, more considerate, of others’, situations, and are better able to, empathize, all thanks, to that daikon that managed to, enlighten you!




The Debate on the Responsibilities of the Professors Who Guided the Students in Their Dissertations or Theses with the Students Falsifying the Research of Their Graduation Theses or Dissertations Caused a Polarized Debate

Two sides, with opposing perspectives and views on shouldering the blames when the students plagiarized someone else’s work, whether or not the professor overseeing the research and the writing of the theses and dissertations should be held responsible if their students plagiarized, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

One Side Believed that Responsibilities Need to be Taken Seriously, Otherwise, it Would be Like “Selling a Degree”, Another Stated, “No Harm, No Major Damages, No Need to Blame”

There had been an influx of cases of plagiarism of theses and dissertations, the universities had asked the students to sign a statement, delegating the school of NO responsibilities whatsoever as they turned in their theses or dissertations for publication, that if something were to happen, the students themselves are solely, responsible, that it has nothing to do with the professor or the evaluation board.  Some scholars believed, that the professors and the evaluation board has the duties to review over the papers thoroughly, that they’re like “justices” is giving out the degrees, that they’re, just as responsible if and when their students’ papers were found to have problems; but there are also scholars who believed, that if there are no major crimes such as letting the students slide on their oral exams for their theses or dissertations, they shouldn’t be reprimanded severely.

The Fujen Catholic University’s sociology professor, Dai said, that the universities are responsible for teaching the students, and if the schools asked the students to pay for the tuitions, then, they must, carry the responsibilities for reviewing, that if based off of a signed statement, relieving of the responsibilities, then, it’s equivalent to “selling the degrees!”

查看來源圖片stealing someone’s ideas, without the person’s consent…illustration from online

Dai also stated, that as an appointed professor, there are the incentives of collecting the fees for helping the students write their theses or dissertations, and they can give less lectures too, and if they don’t do what they are supposed to, “clearly, it would be an abuse of power of the professorship.”  The appointing professor and the members of the oral exam board, are the “judges” who give out the degrees, and if the theses, the dissertations of the students are flawed, then, they should be held, equally responsible.

The associate professor of law, Liu from Poli-Sci University stated, that if the mentor professor was letting the students slide, or ordering the students to plagiarize someone else’s researches, it is against the copyrights laws; and the legality of what comes after wouldn’t be eliminated simply because the appointing professor “had signed the papers, to evade responsibilities”.

But Liu also stated, that most of the advising professors had multiple duties, mentored too many students, or if they come across students who are excellent in their measures of plagiarizing, even if the professors read the papers word-for-word, they may still not be able to know that the passages were, plagiarized.  At this time, if the professor wasn’t found to be flawed in the methods of her/his reviewing the students’ works, then, there shouldn’t be too severe a consequences on them.

And so, these are, the sides, plagiarism is WRONG, it’s, UNETHICAL, and, the professors should be punished to a certain point, because HOW can you not know, that your pupils are, cheating, or doing what they weren’t supposed to be doing, and this goes to point out how your methods of teaching is probably, FLAWED, because had you SET a better example for your students, chances are, they will do what’s right, kinda like how the parents raised their own young too.

Changing for, Love

The birth of a grandchild, that made you realized, the most important things in the world, having that addition to your family, sure changes things, doesn’t it???  Translated…

Since my young granddaughter was born, I’d feared death.

That morn as I woke up and washed my face, I’d found my right eye to have blood covering up the whites, “a stroke of my eye?”, this shocking phrase leapt into my mind, and so, I’d, rushed to the ophthalmologist’s office to check, the physician noted how it’s just a busted blood vessel, which might be caused by not having enough sleep, carrying the heavy objects, or sneezing too hard.

And that’s when I’d recalled that a day ago when I’d gone to the marketplace, because of the birth of my grandson, I was overly excited, being a grandmother for the very first time, and, I’d treated every vendor who’d greeted me as them giving me blessing, and so, I’d, bought the groceries, the foods from every single stand, and, these items were, way too heavy to carry, it’s a wonder, that my eye was, making the objections, and from here on out, I shall, take multiple trips to get all the groceries, instead, of, trying my body like this.

illustration from UDN.com圖/PPAN

I should only handle what I can, and focus on staying healthy.  And, a few days later, I’d announced to my friends and families that I shall be, quitting sweets, and everybody was shocked, thought that something major had, happened to me.

I needed sugar, based off of what everybody knew of me, the afternoon teas, the all-you-can-eat cakes, I’d held on to that record, although I don’t gain weight from eating too much sweets, but I’m afraid of not having all my teeth healthy, besides, my dentist warned me repeatedly, that a cougar who’s a sugar-addict like me, I’m losing calcium easily, and I may have osteoporosis soon.

And if that were the case, then I’d be in trouble, my young granddaughter was born not too long ago, I still needed to walk the distance with her hand in my, I will, NEVER allow her to drag an elderly woman with a hunched back, that’s, slowing her down, and, I’d needed to, free myself, from this, sugar trap.  But, I’m, like that chain smokers, taking on this, mission impossible, but I was, more than willing, for my new sugar, to lose my old flames.

I was, awakened too, by this brand new life in the family, wondered what my granddaughter will grow up to be like?  I’d also, wanted to, get dressed for every single one of her graduation ceremonies too……then, I’d needed to, live my life more healthily, first, I’d needed to alter my habits of going to bed late waking up late, and, even if the gods of soap, so hot, I won’t, be moved at all.  My favorite female lead took me, and so, I’m, focused on her, and I can, bid farewell, to those, two, Korean, hotties then.

The first month I was initiated into the “Grandma’s club”, I’d heard the senior members ranted on, “my grandson didn’t like to walk, my arms are about to fall off, carrying him all day long!”  “Meat ball is too active, climbed up and down, and puts everything into his mouth, I’d, wiped my place down, five times a day, it’s, so very, tiresome!”  “Little Rascal had to have me next to him, to finish his homework, he’s like, the caramels, so sticky!”, all these grandmothers complained endlessly, but, their eyes radiated of joys, they can, just not take care of them, leave their grandchildren to their own children’s, cares, but, they’re, willing to, become, enslaved, being tied down gladly, willing, to be, at their grandchildren’s, beck and calls.

It’s said, this, is, an untreatable condition that’s, common, to all grandmas in this world.

And so, having a grandchild surely, changes things, you may be trying to make up for the time you’d lost with your own young, because you had to work when they were little, that’s why you’re, offering to care, to look after your own grandkids, or maybe, you feel that your kids will need the extra set of helping hands, because they’re working, and someone needs to, watch their infant children, and, you just, don’t feel comfortable enough, leaving your grandkids in the cares of someone else, who won’t love them, care for them, so closely as you would.

Paying Attention, a Poem

Is it destiny, is it, god, or, could it be, both???  Translated…

He Seemed to Have Been Here

As the Dreams Were Still, Not Yet.  Shaped

Those Overtly Descriptive Words

With the Adjustments, Dissociations, Constructed

From the Original & Mysterious Sets

Some Busied, Emptying the Bodies

Into Vessels, to Take in


Each and Every, Meaning too Light

And His Voice

More Stood by with that Cold Glare

Mumbled Out, the Incomprehensible, Words

And He’d Told Me, Not to

Get Too Stubborn into Discovering

Like an Elated Round of Sex

Just Need to Enjoy the Moments

All the Moments that We’re Nude

Can Be, Expressed,

And, Collected Back Up

查看來源圖片contemplating about faith…photo from online

But I Can’t Seem to Comprehend

How a Single Drop of Rain, of Dew

Can Quench the Thirst of an Entire Forest?

That Broken Down Belief

How Did it, Become, a Body of Gold, Not Melting through the Trials of Fire?

He, Majestic, Calm

Getting Passed the Lifetimes as They Spun Past

From the External, Understanding the Real Meaning of Destiny

And, I Can’t, Pinpoint the Way

He’d, Come and Gone

And so, god here, is equivalent to destiny, both had plans for us, and there’s nothing we can do, to alter the plans life/god/fate has for us, we can only, keep going down this road we’re currently on, because we’re, NOT in control of our lives!

The Member of the Uncertain Club

How those with autistic spectrum disorders can be so resistant to change, even if the changes are, benefitting to them, translated…

I’m a normal person, or, at least, I think I am.

But, the doctors believed that I have Asperger’s tendencies, but he wasn’t, too sure of it either.

I love practicing my piano skills, sometimes with my nose.  And I can say “toothpick” in fifty-two languages.  What are you laughing at?  I’m not joking here!

My troubles began around Christmas, when “Tiny Nose” asked me for forty-seven dollars for an olive bun…………

Let me, start, from the, very beginning still then!  I rarely lose my calm, but that day, I’d, done it all right.

查看來源圖片at a bakery like this…photo from online

My favorite bakery was “Little Rome” close to my home.  The cashier ladies all looked like those, Japanese dolls, with all the items, very orderly and cleanly inside the shop.

I’d bought my baked goods from “Little Rome” for seven whole years, and each morn I’d gone in, I was greeted with a “Buon girono!”


I’d replied back shyly, not knowing, if those dolls knew what I meant.

Should I say, “Konichiwa”?  Japanese for good morning?  “Are they smiling?  Every one of the clerks wears a mask, I’m not sure what those masks are covering up.”

In order to differentiate them, I’d named each and every one of them, “tiny nose”, “tiny mouth”, etc., etc., etc.  My psychiatrist encouraged me to exercise my imagination more, and yet, I’m uncertain if this helps.  You’re laughing at how uncertain I am?  Actually, I’m, more than, certain, in “Little Roma”, everything IS, absolute, the olive breads, in the shape of olives, or the shapes of other things, like shoes———I’m unsure of how I will, react.  And it always costs, $52N.T.s, nothing will ever change.

“Buon girono!”

“Giorno!” I’d clasped the bread onto the tray.

“Fifty-two dollars!”

The three coins were, asleep in my left palms I’d, wakened them, and handed them over with my right hand.

“Do you need them sliced?”




For seven years, nothing is changed, all I needed to say was, “Giorno, no…bye!”

And yet, my sweet little world, on Christmas day, when “little nose” asked me for forty-seven dollars N.T., it’d, vanished!

“Forty-seven dollars.”

“Sorry, shouldn’t it be fifty-two?”

“You’re a member here!”

Maybe I should be glad for this, I’d, saved, five bucks, but, the three coins that were asleep in my left palm, they’d become, agitated now!

Thankfully, “Tiny Nose” handed me back a five dollar coin for change.

“Do you need it sliced?”




Everything is still, okay.

The seven coins trembled in my left palm…………

The second morn as I put my tray down, there was, that unsettling alarm inside my mind.

There was a new girl behind the mask.  She’s, taller than the rest, and so, I’d called her, “Tall girl”.

“Fifty-two dollars!”, the tall girl stated.

“I’m sorry, shouldn’t it be forty-seven?”

“Are you a member?”


“your member number is?”

“I don’t have a card………”

“Then, what’s your phone number?”


I really want to, take my self out of Little Rome then.

Unfortunately, Tall said, “Fine, I’ll give it to you for $47!”

I’m not sure, what drove me to go to Little Roma again the following day, destiny, perhaps?

“Tiny Mouth” wore that mask that stared me down.

“Are you a member?”

“Sometimes I am, and sometimes, I’m not!”

“Your card number is?”

“I don’t know!”

“Your number?”

At this time, “Tiny Nose” hollered out, “He’s a member!”

“Then, his number is?”

“How the hell should I know?”

“Okay, fifty-two dollars total!”

Maybe I should feel happy, back to fifty-two dollars again, only three coins.

But to tell the truth, I no longer buy my bread at Little Rome.

I now go to “Little Berlin”.  If I became a member there, I guess, I will be going to “Little Paris”

I’m not sure if this makes a good story, but, this, is absolutely, true!

And so, this just showed, how those with an autistic spectrum disorder are resistant to changes, even if the changes can benefit them, they’d still, preferred to do things the way they originally had, and it’s just, a characteristic of the disorder.

Eighty-Seven Percent of Public Believed that if Children Loved Schools, the Bad Behaviors Can be Reduced

School IS, the KEY, to changing the children’s lives here, but this view is, just, too, simplistic, there are, more factors at play here, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

There’s an influxes of cases of adolescents who’d hurt, and got involved in drugs, the Professor Huang Education Foundation posted its latest survey results, noting that seventy-six percent of the general public believed that there’s serious concerns over crimes of the adolescent groups, over ninety-percent worried about drug abuse, theft, joining in gangs, self-mutilation, etc., etc., etc.  But there are also eighty-seven percent of those surveyed who’d believed that making the children love school, love learning, can greatly reduce the bad behaviors.

The survey found, there were seventy-eight percent surveyed that believed that there’s the verbal bullying that’s occurring on the school campuses, seventy-one percent believed that cyberbullying is a serious issue.  The surveys showed, that eighty-seven percent believed that helping students to love learning and enjoy going to school can greatly reduce the bad behaviors in the teenage years.

To prevent the teens from straying, the surveyed believed that the education in school should zoom in on helping the students “find their areas of interests”, helping them cultivate a “positive view of life”, as well as “emotional control” too.

Huang believed, that the teens are in an unstable state emotionally and physically, plus there’s the politics fighting currently going on, the economy at a standstill, the morality in society not set up right, the dysfunctional families, and all of it, wove itself, into, this awful environment for teenagers to live in, which caused the teens to head down the wrong paths, to even becoming, criminals.

The dean of the social sciences department of Mingchuan University, Huang stated, that it’s the same theory of how the public hoped to use the hobbies, and learning to keep the adolescent students on the right path, it’s the same means of the Social Chains theory in criminology.  And so, if there’s a way for the youths, their families, and their schools to become, more closely related to one another, there would be less chances of youths going off the wrong paths.

Yeah, this is, way too, simplistic, because you can’t control the environment, because you can’t raise these teens inside a petri dish, can you?  And, because you can’t MAKE sure that these teens’ upbringing is looked at, taken care of closely, that’s why, many of them are falling to peer pressure, because in those years, gaining acceptance of ones’ peers, is the most important thing for them, and whoever that wrote this passage, has absolutely NO sense of psychology of the adolescent mind!

A Queen, in a Game with, Kings

Uh-oh, I’m now, OUTNUMBERED here!!!  (AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!)

A queen, in a game with, kings, they’re all, trying, to grab onto me, to make me theirs, without knowing, that I simply, can’t, EVER, be O-W-N-E-D, I’m, my own woman here, and yet, it still, didn’t, deter them, from trying…

A queen, in a game with, kings, what am I supposed to do, when they’re about to, hound me down, if I fight one of, ten more piled on top of me (like how the QB gets tackled by all the players of the opposing team???).  A queen, in a game, with, kings, because I couldn’t win by number (I’m already, outnumbered here), and I’m not, physically, as big or strong as all them kings are, therefore, the ONLY way I have, of winning, is using my wits.

what that looked like, in a game of, chess!photo from online

A queen, in a game with, kings, make no doubt, the queen’s not just, gonna, lay down and D-I-E (or get taken!!!), oh no, she’s gonna, keep on, hissing, fighting, kicking, and SCREAMING, trying, to break free, from these restraints you put her in.

A queen, in a game with, kings, she now, stands, on top, ALL of their, conquered, DEAD bodies, placing that flag with that crest at the top, of all those, DEAD bodies of all them, KINGS who tried, taking her down!