A Dilemma in Motherhood

A mother, caught in the dilemmas of watching her son grow up, of knowing, that he won’t need her as much, the need to, hold onto him a little longer, that, was why she’s caught between, knowing she SHOULD make him do things himself, but still, does it for her own, young…translated…

In Becoming a Full-Time Mother for Many Years Now, I’d Found, that My Biggest Blindspot was Treating “Things that are My Child’s Responsibilities” as My “Responsibilities………

With my son growing older, I’d come face to face with the very first, career crises of my entire working means as a full-time mother—it’s not the struggles between “not being needed”, that sense of loss, but its the, switching from the current state of “being needed too much”.

My sense of crisis came, from the tying of a shoelace; thinking on that now, maybe, it’s the, butterfly effect of the childrearing realm.

At the beginning of last year, I took my son to get a pair of sweat pants, as the little guy tried it on, he was, more than satisfied with the pants, but, as I’d bought it for him, he’d, not worn it enough times.  As I’d asked him why he’d not worn the pants enough times, he’d told me it was because of the string that he had to tie into a bow, that keeps his pants from at his waistline, “every time I’d gone, I’d have to, tie it again, but I can’t do the lace right, I don’t want to bother myself with that anymore.”, as I’d heard, I was shocked, then, I’d recalled that line of “how things all started small  before it snowballs into something major”.  The master teaches us, that if we can’t master our own lives, we can’t, help others with their lives either.

illustration from UDN.com

Seeing how my son is going into the fourth grade, but still refused to grow up, wanting to rely on his mother, and blackmailed, that if I don’t tie it for him, he won’t wear that pair of pants (only this particular pair of sweatpants), and everything else that came, it’d forced me to, see his, “severe reliance” on his mother, that the source of this big problem, is actually, me.

After, as he was trying on the sweats, I’d, already, subconsciously, tied the bow for him, not allowed him to tie it himself, and, not noted, that this was, improper of me in anyway after this.

I’d found, that my biggest, blind spot in childrearing for all these years, was that I’d, “accidentally treated” all of my child’s issues as my own, plus, it’d become, reflex for me to do everything for him, before he’d gone to manage his own affairs, I’d already, done it all, for him already, including what should’ve originally been, his own, responsibilities to manage.

I didn’t do it on purpose, it’s just, that I’d gotten, used to doing it, that it was a subconscious sort of, responsibility, and I’d, unknowingly, taken away the chances for him to learn it on his own, which translated into how he couldn’t, tie a lace right.  That was when it’d hit me, that a complete sort of a love, is in the restricted means.  Providing a comfortable environment, it’s not that hard for a mother; the biggest challenges are in how to set up a fitting space, to guide a child to find all of her/his own, potentials.

Letting go, always harder than just taking over to manage it.  So, from that day on, I’d, intentionally, let my son, “do it himself” more.  I’d become, like a snail that is too hurried, wanted to get ahead, but, had to crawl along, very, slowly, and so, I can, only, grit my teeth, and, crawl slowly.  Of course, I’d still, gotten into the mind of, speeding ahead too quickly, like as he was washing his hands, there were still, the soap bubbles on his fingers, I’d instinctively, cleared off the bubbles off his hand, and I got, objected, “I’m old enough to do it myself!”

And, seeing his childish means, mixed in with the adult sort of “my hands”, I’d felt, a bit, funny, yet, quite, relieved.

Thankfully, in the fourth grade, he’d, already, learned to tie the laces now (I’d never imagined, that a pair of sweat pans at $399, exceeded its, values).

But, with that said, early in the morn on the first day of school, told me he didn’t want to change into his school clothes, I’d still, gone soft, and changed him out of his pajamas for him—those things he should’ve learned, I needed to remind myself, to LET him do it, as for what he can already do on his own, then, I shall help him do from time to time then.

Because, one of these days, he won’t, need me, anymore.

So, this is a mother, caught between, holding on and letting go, she knew that she should, let her son start doing things on his own, but she didn’t want to let go of him yet, because, she wanted to enjoy her role as his mother, as the one he comes to, for all of his issues big and small in life and in school, and, that would be, the struggles of this mother in allowing, watching her own young son grow, older.  But I’m still, against parents, handling EVERYTHING for their own young, I mean, IF you do everything for your child, then, how the HELL is s/he going to learn, to do things for her/himself, how the HELL will the child, learn, that it’s MY responsibilities to do this and that, and mommy and daddy won’t cover me for life?  So, do let go of your children, teach them responsibilities, but you can still, do things for them, from time to time, just not all the time!

When the Incidents of Bullying Already Happened, then the Schools Tried to Teach the Students the Right Ways to Interact with Each Other, it Would be Too Late

When is discipline discipline, and when will it be, abuse, and, how do we train our young to abide by the rules, in this day and age of, ZERO physical punishment?  That is, the hardest thing that parents are learning right now…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

Awhile ago, a technical high school in Hualien had a bullying case that made the news, a bully started smacking and slapping another student around, there was no other adults around, only the bystander students with their cell phone, taping, watching, with no one dare stopping the bully.

There’d been an influx of school bullying, it’d shown that the adolescents are straying, that their bad behaviors are becoming, more and more, socialized, this is “moblike”.  And although, there were those who are against this sort of a label for teens, but, the gangs had infiltrated into the schools, the adolescents are getting more and more violent, this is, a fact currently.

back when this was still the way…from online

The instructors, due to the zero physical punishment policy, they’d become, timid in setting the misbehaving students right, which added to the increasing cases of bullying in school; by the same; due to the restrictions of the children and adolescent welfare laws, they’d not dared implore the physical punishments, which exacerbated to the children’s bad behaviors more.

A first year high school male, in a month’s of starting school, he’d been truant for more than one hundred periods, the father received the notice from school, and asked the son, the son talked back, the father started, beating on the son.  The son felt upset over being beaten, sued the father for domestic violence, the courts gave the father three months, because of the heavier sentence for abuse of adolescents and children, there’s no way the adult can pay the fines and skip out of time served.  And here’s the problem, would the son, due to his father’s given a prison sentence, never skip school again?  Or, will he feel guilty, that he’d, caused his own father to get sent to prison?  The parent worried that his young might get absorbed by the gangs, or started following the scamming means, become delivery pickup, and, he’d lifted a hand to hit his own son, and received a guilty verdict for assault charge, then, who will take over to discipline the children on behalf of the parents?  The judge?  Police?  Who will be there, to CORRECT the misbehaviors of the children, to teach them, that they need to be responsible for their own, behaviors.

Certainly, the focal point of education should be based off of love, but, for the children who don’t behave in the right ways, if we can’t enforce the needed punishments, we can’t, stop them from continue to misbehave.  It’s just, that the parents are, bound by the law, what are they, to do?

and now…photo from online

There’s the trends of the scam artists, the violent criminals getting younger and younger each and every year, which showed, that if we don’t straighten the children out when they began misbehaving, and punishing them after they did something bad, it would be, too, late.

And so, this is, the result of the ZERO physical punishment law to teach the students right from wrong, and, there’s sometimes the need for the slap on the wrists, to TEACH the younger children right from wrong, besides, they are still young, and, they will, associate the pains from being smacked with their bad behaviors, and then, to avoid the pains of getting smacked, they are going to, NOT do that bad behavior, that’s the most basic of behaviorism, and yet, the government banned the parents from physically disciplining their young, because we are more advanced, we care for children’s rights in this country…

The Mother Suspected that the Son Was Stealing Money from Her, She’d Physically Disciplined Him, Caused Him to Get Injured, Charged with Assault

When discipline went, too far, it’d become, ABUSE, and this mother DESERVED to get, charged for it!  On how a parent went OVERBOARD, to discipline her own son from stealing from her…off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The woman in Keelung, suspected that her elementary age son was stealing money, as she’d disciplined him, she’d left scratch marks on his head and neck, her husband stopped her, and called the police; Hsu told the police that she only intended to discipline him, not injure him, but the Keelung D.A.’s Office believed that Hsu’s behaviors had exceeded what’s acceptable as discipline, charged her on assault.

The D.A. confirmed that Hsu broke the law of adult intentionally injuring a child, asked for a heavy sentence based off of Children’s and Adolescent’s Welfare Protection Guarantee number 112.

The indictment stated, that Hsu suspected that her son in the higher grades of elementary school had stolen cash from home, became upset, at noon on July 20^th last year, she got physical on him, her son sustained the red scratch mark from her nails on his neck, head, right ear and left shoulder.

Hsu’s husband was upset over how she’d hurt their young, put an end to the physical abuse, immediately called the police, he’d believed, that she’d gone, overboard in beating their son, that was why he’d called the police, wanted to teach her a lesson, after the police interrogated Hsu, they took her to the district attorney’s office.

what the skin looked, like…and it does NOT look like “discipline” at all…photo from online

During the inquiries of the district attorneys, Hsu stated that she’d lost control of her emotions at the moment in time, but she did it because she wanted to set her son straight, had no intentions of hurting him.

The district attorneys pointed out, the parents has the responsibilities, the obligations to teach their young right from wrong, and, it’s okay to use the physical punishment measures within the realms of what is acceptable, to help the children set the boundaries, and the parents won’t get charged with abuse.

But, looking at how Hsu’s son’s injuries are around the neck, and head, the primary places where it might be fatal, how there are apparent red bruising, they’d assessed that these injuries had been caused by Hsu’s scratching her own son, that her behaviors had gone way past discipline; Hsu’s assaulting her son, was with the emotional upsets that she’d felt, and, her claims of she didn’t have any intentions of hurting him, wasn’t believed by the courts.

And so, this, is on how this woman, lost control, in setting her own son right, and, it’s still the parent’s fault in this, for this woman lacked emotional control, she must’ve been feeling upset over something else, otherwise, at most, we would only, smack the hands of our own young when they’d stolen the cash, as a way of teaching them NEVER to do it again, instead of scratching her own son to injury as this woman had, done.

The Primordial Era of My Youngest

The coming of age of children…translated…

When I was sorting through my youngest daughter’s toys to give away to a neighbor, a box of Chinese chess got my memories going.

Back when my youngest was born, I was already, an older woman.  Got my maternity leave set, started as a full-time mother.  After my husband and my eldest daughter went out to work and to school, it was me versus my infantile youngest

By month seven you sit up, by eight, you start crawling, by nine months, start teething, at around eight months of age, I’d mopped the floors of the hallways clean every morn, put my daughter down onto the floors, for her, to exercise in crawling around.  She had a huge diaper on, drooled, slowly, crawled, forward, it’d reminded me of the slowly moving Komodo dragon.  It’d been told, that as Komodo bit the preys, it’d not, hurried to chase them down, because as the biting happened, the toxin was in its saliva, and the prey will eventually become weakened by the toxins to escape.

from this…photo from online

And, because my eldest had, swallowed her strawberry shaped hairpins into her stomach while I wasn’t watching her, I’d, cleaned off the hallways completely.  As my youngest started, making her rounds, she could find, nothing, she’d, drooled on, looking around her, like she was, searching for that, prey.  I’m thinking, that my feet were what she saw the most, but, my feet weren’t worth her bite.

But, history is always, surprising.

“She’d made it into her older sister’s room while I was on the phones mom.  When I’d found her, she was, chewing and enjoying that rubber band!  Look, this is the remains of the broken piece of the rubber bands she’d chewed up and swallowed!”, I’d told my husband who was coming in after work.

Because we’d believed, that our youngest didn’t swallow too much of the rubber band into her systems, and she was breathing normally, with huge appetite, my husband believed, that she will, eventually, poop out the rubber band, and we’d, let it happen, naturally.

almost UP! Photo from online

Because the tiny primordial creatures still can’t understand human words, there’s no way to reason with her.  Other than mopping harder, I’d dragged the traditional vine crib next to the phones, when she is crawling around, and someone called, I’d, picked her up, placed her into her crib, talked on the phones, and watched what she was doing.  The crib was, fully, corralled, and, being imprisoned angered my young child, then, I’d, handed her a box of Chinese chess to play with.  As she’d observed the pieces fully, she’d started,  picking up the pieces and throwing them around, with her arms and legs gaining more muscles, she could now, straighten her self upright, and, the trajectory was, farther, and farther now.

And that’s how I’d, managed through my youngest daughter’s, primordial, era.

So, this showed the developments of the infant, the infant puts everything into her/his mouth, because that’s how the infant gets to know the world, and, as parents, we would worry, what the HELL did my child swallow?  And we’d, become, too worried, and, we may prevent them from touching, for their own, safety purposes, but by preventing them to put whatever it is they come into contact with into their mouths, we’re, depriving them of  how they know the world, through their, oral sensations, and if these stages of earlier childhood developmental milestones weren’t met correctly, then, problems would surface later on as we became, adults, like Dr. Sex stated.

to finally, this! Steadying themselves with furnitures to learn to walk around…photo from online

So, rather than preventing young infant children from putting things into their mouths, just allow them to grab whatever they can get their hands on and have a taste, because, by becoming overly protective won’t do them any good.  And, the children will go from all fours, to standing on twos, unsteadily, then, they will take that very first step, and before you know it, they will be, running around for you to, chasing them everywhere, because that, is how children should grow.

The Preschool in Yonghe Was Found for Improper Discipline of Young Children, a Nursery Worker Was Fired

Maybe, it’s the, individual caretaker’s behavior, but, there’s a larger picture here too, just because that TODDLER didn’t RETURN to her/his SEATS after going to the TOILET, and just because this KID refuse to go down at nap time, they were, punished for it, and that’s, just, not right, and these early childhood educators DESERVE a HUGE fine too!  Off of the Newspapers, translated…

An unnamed preschool in Yonghe had the incident of a nursery school teacher improperly disciplining a young toddler, because the young child squiggled during nap hour, the nursery worker had, wrapped the tapes around the child to prevent the child from squiggling around, another toddler hadn’t returned back to the classrooms after going to the toilet, the nursery employee had, blocked the door to the restrooms, to prevent the young child from coming back out.  The Department of Education stated, that as they’d examined the facts, the nursery worker was confirmed of physically punishing, improperly mistreated the young children, one employee was fined $80,000N.T. for breaking the regulations of nursery worker principles, and fired; the other person, fined $6,000N.T.s.

Someone posted on the Group, “I’m a Local from Yonghe”, posted the name of the nursery workers who got fired, with the contents “the nursery workers’ improperly treating the young children”, and the “major improper treatments of young children by nursery workers”, that they were fined $80,000N.T. and $6,000N.T. individually, and this became widely discussed in the forums.

Based off of understanding, the incidents occurred in November of last year, the nursery employee, Deng during nap hour, found that a young toddler was squiggling around, to make sure that the young child did NOT affect other children of the classroom, she’d taped the young child’s legs together.

Another young child, told Deng that he needed to go to the toilet, but as the class session had resumed, he’d not, returned back to his seat, Deng, to teach the child that he needed to “return to class on time”, she’d blocked the doors to the restrooms, and prevented the young children from coming out.

The Department of Education stated, that Deng’s restricting the child from exiting the restrooms had, been confirmed as her improperly treating, a severe form of physical punishment on the young child, and she was fined $80,000N.T.s for breaking the regulations of nursery workers, fired, and listed for monitoring for a whole year; while the other classroom instructor, Lai, knowing that Deng had improperly disciplined the young children, did nothing to stop her behaviors, was fined $6,000N.T. for improperly overlooking the wrongful discipline of the young child.

So, this is how, the government CRACKS down on the improper treatment of children in nursery schools, I mean, these are what, two, three year olds, they are only, beginning to get, POTTY TRAINED (the ANAL stage of psychosexual development by Uncle Siggy???), and these nursery workers, should’ve had more patience, to allow these young children, to GO to the potty, to give them all the time they needed, but hey, the ratio of the class is, how many adults per kid again?  And, based off of how EVERYBODY is trying to enroll their young into these, FREE nursery, daycare programs sponsored by the government, the teacher to student ratio, doesn’t even work, and so, this is what had, happened: the teacher became, impatient of what this one kid did, and, punished  her/him, and got fined, and, fired, and noted for an improper educator of early childhood.

The Preschool Sponsored by the D.o.D. Found to Have Abused the Young Children, Two Early Childhood Educators Were, Terminated of Their Hiring Contracts

The individual instructors’ bad behaviors, giving the D.o.D. a bad rep, and, if the D.o.D. sponsored preschool was found to have abused the young children, then, how can the D.o.D. be effective, in, defending the rest of the country as a whole???  Off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The incidents of child abuse in the  D.o.D.’s sponsoring the Shihjian University in operating the Dajr Preschool came out, the preschool yesterday posted on FB the letters to the parents, the two instructors who’d behaved inappropriately toward the young children had both been terminated in their contract for hire.

The preschool is located right outside of the Bo-Ai Base, the location is excellent, started when it’d begun back in 2020, there’s always parents lining up to enroll their young in, and recently, there was the news of, child abuse.  The Department of Education of Taipei stated, that after the allegations were found factual, the two instructor had been punished by fines, and, they’d been placed on the No-Hire list for life, they will never work with young children ever again, as for the outside’s suspecting that the school knew of the abuse but didn’t report, the Department of Education is currently investigating the matter, and the results will come out by the beginning of January of next year.

The school’s letters stated, that at the end of October, they got a complaint from the parents, that of the Tree Frog’s class, there were, two educators who’d behaved improperly toward the young children, and as they reviewed the surveillance cameras in the class, they’d found no evidence of improper misconduct, and the director of the preschool and the parents supervised into the investigations, and found, that the instructors had, abused the young children.  The director and the supervising parents immediately notified the university which operated the preschool, as well as the D.o.D., and provided the surveillance footages, and gave the related data to the Department of Education of Taipei, to have them investigate the matter further.

The school stated, because from before the reports, they’d not observed any physical injuries, or heard any verbal complaints, that yesterday, as the director and the office personnel went to visit the classes, they’d found nothing out of the ordinary, the teachers weren’t improper toward the young students, that the instructors and the students were interacting normally in the playground outside of class, that they’d not noted the issues between the children and the instructors on time, the director and the school officials blamed themselves, felt upset over what had happened; after the incident, the school once again, trained the workers on the means of positive reinforcement teaching methods, and had been checked at random times by the Department of Education too, given the access of the classroom recordings, along with allowing the officials from the Department of Education to come into the class to watch.

And so, this is, only one BAD teacher’s behaviors, of abusing the young children, and, whatever the reason, ABUSING a child is NEVER justified, and these instructors deserve to get FIRED, and put on the unfitting to work with students list, so they will, NEVER have the chances of, abusing the children, who are left in their, care, ever, again!

The Day Our Middle School Instructor Apologized

How the instructor from thirty odd years ago had been “trained” to discipline the students physically, and now, as the awareness of it constituting as CHILD ABUSE, the instructor apologized to her students for physically beating them…translated…

The Confucius’s birthday this year was too special, other than reconnecting with my middle school homeroom instructor and my fellow classmates from thirty-three years ago, got together on the LINE group, and wished our instructor Happy Teacher’s Day, we’d all, received that, accidental, apology from our instructor too.

back in the times, when this was, allowed…photo from online

In those days, when the school only cared about the academic performances, when the physical punishments were a must in the classroom settings, our teacher told, that she’d only known, to discipline us all harshly, to make us behave ourselves, and not known how to talk with us, to get to know us better individually.  Thinking on it now, she was, at, fault.

As the words got posted out, the original getting heated well wishes of “happy teacher’s day teacher”, suddenly, fell silent.  I’m guessing, that it would be none of us, had ever expected that our instructor would, evaluate herself suddenly, and, in not knowing how to, respond back, the air went, dead silent.

In my memories, she was, surely, strict toward us all, in our three years of middle school, not a day goes by, we didn’t get physically disciplined by her.  In the times when the society firmly believed the virtues of “spare the rod you spoil the child”, the parents were all reinforcing the means of corporal punishment by the school teachers.  And so, in the dual compressions of the pressures of getting accepted to a good high school and being punished physically by our school instructor daily, rarely, any of us had the wonderful memories of our, middle school, years.

I’d remembered that we’d had a reunion back in June, one of the classmates, after knowing that the instructor was going to show too, he’d, excused himself from the gathering.  As I’d inquired him, I’d learned, that she’d left an, everlasting, BAD impression in his, life, he still couldn’t quite get over how she’d, evaluated the students as good or bad, based off of the grades we’d, made, to this, very, day.

“I just can’t pretend that I like her, let alone, to be kind to her, to put on, that false smile when I see her.”, that student who’d been, traumatized, told me in a private message.

Actually, I didn’t, like my instructor either, because, as soon as she’d surfaced to mind, suddenly, I’d, connected it to the scolding, the corporal punishment…….all sorts of, negative memories that came to me.  On the day of our reunion, as she’d walked in, to that location, my heart twinged a bit, and, although it’d been, thirty-three years since I was in her class, that fear was still, very much, alive.

But I’d still gone up to her, and said, hello, traded a few general greetings, and, handed her the book I wrote, that I’d planned to give to her.  She was smiling so very, radiantly then, kept telling me, she will read my “masterpiece” thoroughly once she gets home, and gave me a big hug.  Then suddenly, I’d felt that she wasn’t the straight-faced, with our graded math exams, and the stick, that devil that had come after us, for not making the grades anymore, and I wasn’t, that young man who lived in the nightmares of, barely passing math back then anymore, either.

Reason why she was like that, was probably because of the times, or maybe, she thought, that by being harsh to us, to MAKE us do better, was the only way she can fulfill her duties as a “teacher”.  I admit, at first, I wasn’t, looked upon as someone who might achieve greatness, due to my, grades, but now, didn’t I prove to her too, that students who couldn’t make the better grades, can still, achieve greatness in her/his own, might?

And so, seeing her apology to us in the groups, I feel, nothing but the respect toward her courage.  Before I went to bed, I’d, replied back to her, “times are no longer the same, the ways students and teachers relate to and interact with each other is also, quite, different too.  We are all grown up now, and, passed through the ways we were educated based off of the times, I’m grateful for your company, and the lessons you’d, taught to, me!”

And, the group still remained, silent.  I think, that being all grown up now, I no longer needed to live in the shadows of the past, anymore.

So, this is how deeply the disciplinarian means of being taught had affected us all, I still remembered back in the first grade, how my instructor had, twisted the students’ ears when they’d talked out of turn in class, how even the best students got physically punished, and none of us could, escape, because that was what was norm, until recent years, there’s the awareness of child abuse, and children’s rights, and that was when the corporal punishments had been, outlawed.

The Female Teaching Assistant Who’d SMACKED the Boy’s Head, Sentenced to a Prison Term Confirmed

The law defined this instructor’s behavior as ABUSE, and the sentence was, justified, off of the Front Page Sections, translated…

The teaching assistant, Chou in a cram school, because a male student, Lee started screaming loudly in class, she’d pulled on the child’s neck and smacked him upside the head, the first trial sentenced her to four months, she can pay a fine and skip the time served; the D.A. appealed, believed that the victim was not yet twelve, that the abuser can’t pay her way out of a necessary prison sentence.  The Taipei District Courts believed, that the D.A.’s appeal was reasoned, and tossed back the “fines” verdict, Chou will be serving her four months in prison.

The thirty-one-year-old Chou works in a certain cram school in Hsintien, Hsinbei City, on the evening of October 20^th, 2022, because the male student, Lee started shouting in class, she got angered, grabbed Lee by his neck, and physically assaulted the boy’s head, Lee was injured, went home and told his parents, the parents sued.

The district attorneys found, that Chou had broken the law on physically assaulting a child, asked the courts for a simplified decision of the case, and stated that because the boy was under twelve, Chou should get the sentence of half the time given to her for breaking the laws of child and youth welfare and protections act.

The first trial found, that Chou had responsibilities to protect and instruct Lee, sentenced her to four months, and she can pay a $200,000N.T. fine to get out of time served; but the D.A. believed that she should not be able to pay her way out of the prison sentence given, fought for an appeal.

The second trial found, that the increase of punishments for the crimes against a child or adolescent is mandatory; the regular assault under criminal law is under six years, and after the “increase”, it would be “under seven years six months”, that this should not be waived by fines, that the D.A.’s appeal was reasonable.

The verdict from the second trial stated, Chou had assaulted the child physically, other than causing the child bodily harm, it’d also impacted his psychological wellbeing, but considering Chou was remorseful, but still couldn’t reach a settlement agreement with the boy’s parents, tossed back the verdict of paying for the time served, sentenced Chou to four months.

And so, the woman should NOT be allowed to pay a fine, and skip the time served, otherwise, how would she learn, to TREAT the children she might be allowed to work with in the future, without the physical violence, and because this child is under twelve, that’s why the courts made her sentence heavier.

The Child, Physically Abused by His Father, the Hsinbei City Government Helped File for a Restraining Order for the Child

More cases of how these, fathers, confused ABUSE with, DISCIPLINE, still holding on, to the values of: sparing the rod you spoil the child, because I’m guessing, that that, was how they were, raised, when there IS, a better way, to TRAIN your own children, to BEHAVE themselves!  Off of the Newspapers, translated…

The young girl going to school in Hsinbei City, because of how she’d not made a high enough grade on her exams based off of her father’s expectations, he’d punished her to kneel, then whipped her with a rattan, she was bruised all over her body.  The city originally planned to get this father into a parenting course yesterday, but the society believed, that the city wasn’t doing enough to protect the welfare of the child, the domestic violence prevention center decided to help the child file for a protective order against her own father, to prohibit him from physically abusing her again.

On the evening of June 29^th, the girl was physically punished  by her father for not making a high enough grade, the father posted the punishment session online; the following day, the school started the care and counseling means, and confirmed the severity of the child’s injuries, and what had happened, and notified social services.

The manager of the Domestic Violence Prevention Center of Hsinbei City, Hsu stated, that this father’s heart was in the right place, wanting his young to perform better in school, but the means was wrong, he’d used a way that damages the child’s dignity, that it may cause the child to never recover.  Yesterday, the school, the social services, and the domestic violence prevention social workers already visited the home, and warned the father, to NEVER, improperly “discipline” his own daughter, again, and, demanded that the other family members, share the responsibilities for teaching the child, to help protect her safety.

This father and his wife had three children, they are young, but with the traditional beliefs about education, stressed, “you spare the rod, you spoil the child, and rewards should only be given when they behaved well”.  Yesterday, the father got found, for five years aga, shaving his own daughter’s head to bald, which was also, left on FB as evidence, but, it hadn’t gotten, reported.  He’d explained, that his daughter didn’t have enough hair, and her hair was too short, and the students in her class made fun of her, and after he’d discussed the matter with her, and she’d agreed, believed, that rather than getting laughed at often in school, she should shave her head, for her hair to grow back completely again, and finally, her hair volume is, increased somewhat right now.

There ARE, better way, to teach a kid, after all, your kid may be slow to learn, but that doesn’t mean that s/he is, STUPID, or can’t learn, that just means, that you, as her/his parents, need to, spend more time, to work with your young, on the skills you want her/him to master, or what s/he should be able to do, from school, and the grades should still NOT be used as a SORRY EXCUSE for you, to BEAT the SHIT out of your own child!

Physically “Disciplining” His Own Son, the Pediatrician Got His License to Practice Medicine, Suspended

In Taoyuan, there is a pediatrician who’d posted on FB, that he couldn’t teach his own three children well enough, as a single parent, that he’d, used the physical disciplinary measures, and pushed them to the floors, but his ex called him out on what he’d stated, that he’d not only, “swiped” to make his children fall, that he’d, kicked them, HARD, and on top of that, he’d also, SLAPPED them more than fifty times across their faces.  The domestic violence prevention center in Taoyuan and the sexual assault prevention center in Taoyuan yesterday told the press, that they’d, stepped in, to place the children out of the father’s care, now, all three children are left in the care of their birthmother, and their grandparents.

And the pediatrician is a staff of a famed chain OBGYN clinic, the manager of the clinic posted on FB, “domestic violence is WRONG, and we need to go down HARD on those who abused their families”, that the clinic had, halted all of the physician’s clinical practices, as well as all other duties from work, that they will wait for the investigations to finish, as the truth comes out.

And so, this, is how easily, you can, mistake discipline with, abuse, and, these new age parents, still had the minds of the stone ages (was it during that time???  I can’t, really, tell), with the beliefs of spoiling the rod, you spoil the child, when there IS, a better way, to teach your own young, without ANY abuse, so long as you set the rules up correctly with them when they were, younger, then, all should flow, smoothly, and I’m guessing, that this man didn’t have a clue, of how to treat his own young correctly, because he was, “trained”, using the, “rod methods” growing up too, and these abusive parents deserved the HARSHEST punishment EVER, and, they hopefully, will NEVER be in custody of their own children again!

My Daughters Who’d Taken Advantage of Every Second of Their, Lives

If only, the adults can live with this sense of leisure that these children had, then, the world would be, much better, but we can’t, we get used to, rushing, sorting through everything, fast as we can, that we forget, how to, enjoy our every moment in life, like these young children are still, able, to…translated…

My two daughters loved painting, loved reading, but not to the point of not doing anything else besides, but sometimes, I simply, can’t understand, how they’d, managed their, times.

Take for instance after bath, after they put their clothes back on they should be, blow-drying their hair, but instead, they’d gotten reminded of something it seemed, turned out of the bathrooms—oh!  For the sake of, thumbing through the books, or to do a sketch or something while they were, blow-drying their hair.

It’s just, that in these few short minutes’ time, is it, necessary, to haul out the load of books, the entire set of painting, drawing, art supplies?  Sometimes, they’d even, hauled in that tiny wooden chair too, and after they’d, “relocated” their work studio, then, they’re, able to, enjoy the salon treatment by their, mom, immersing themselves in the worlds of doodling and reading, and, I suppose, that this sort of killing two birds with one stone, is the skill set, unique only to, them.

And, even on the weekdays when I’d rushed them off to preschool, they’d continued acting, too, gracefully too.  My eldest disregarded how sands are running out in that hourglass, focused herself on doodling; my younger, with one hand on the cup, drinking down her milk, another hand, steadying her book, savoring the stories.  Had it not been us, their parents, hurrying them along, people would think, that it’s a weekend, or a, holiday!

One day, finally, I’d, gotten them to school, out the door, and as I’d gone back, in the bathrooms, I’d found a scattered pile of at least, ten illustrated books, so outrageous, how many books do you need, to get you through your toilet sessions?

Oftentimes, I’d, picked up after my daughters’ scattered books, and art supplies, thought to myself, “if there’s no rush, I too, would be blessed like them, to just, read, and write, how good would life be!” unfortunately, for an adult like me, with the responsibilities of keeping a family running, I can only, envy my children’s romanticism of life.  But as I see them, taking advantage of every moment in their lives, I’d felt, that time had, stopped moving, and it seemed, that we can all, stay put, in this, moment of, perfectness that we share.

And so, this, is the difference between the adults and children, isn’t it?  The adults are, chased by time, we’re always, on the clock, to get to work, to drop the kids to school, to shop after work, to cook, etc., etc., etc., and we lose sight of what’s important, the simplest things in life, doing what we enjoy, like these young children, before they grow up, and join in the crews of the RUSHING to and from.