How the instructor from thirty odd years ago had been “trained” to discipline the students physically, and now, as the awareness of it constituting as CHILD ABUSE, the instructor apologized to her students for physically beating them…translated…
The Confucius’s birthday this year was too special, other than reconnecting with my middle school homeroom instructor and my fellow classmates from thirty-three years ago, got together on the LINE group, and wished our instructor Happy Teacher’s Day, we’d all, received that, accidental, apology from our instructor too.
back in the times, when this was, allowed…photo from online
In those days, when the school only cared about the academic performances, when the physical punishments were a must in the classroom settings, our teacher told, that she’d only known, to discipline us all harshly, to make us behave ourselves, and not known how to talk with us, to get to know us better individually. Thinking on it now, she was, at, fault.
As the words got posted out, the original getting heated well wishes of “happy teacher’s day teacher”, suddenly, fell silent. I’m guessing, that it would be none of us, had ever expected that our instructor would, evaluate herself suddenly, and, in not knowing how to, respond back, the air went, dead silent.
In my memories, she was, surely, strict toward us all, in our three years of middle school, not a day goes by, we didn’t get physically disciplined by her. In the times when the society firmly believed the virtues of “spare the rod you spoil the child”, the parents were all reinforcing the means of corporal punishment by the school teachers. And so, in the dual compressions of the pressures of getting accepted to a good high school and being punished physically by our school instructor daily, rarely, any of us had the wonderful memories of our, middle school, years.
I’d remembered that we’d had a reunion back in June, one of the classmates, after knowing that the instructor was going to show too, he’d, excused himself from the gathering. As I’d inquired him, I’d learned, that she’d left an, everlasting, BAD impression in his, life, he still couldn’t quite get over how she’d, evaluated the students as good or bad, based off of the grades we’d, made, to this, very, day.
“I just can’t pretend that I like her, let alone, to be kind to her, to put on, that false smile when I see her.”, that student who’d been, traumatized, told me in a private message.
Actually, I didn’t, like my instructor either, because, as soon as she’d surfaced to mind, suddenly, I’d, connected it to the scolding, the corporal punishment…….all sorts of, negative memories that came to me. On the day of our reunion, as she’d walked in, to that location, my heart twinged a bit, and, although it’d been, thirty-three years since I was in her class, that fear was still, very much, alive.
But I’d still gone up to her, and said, hello, traded a few general greetings, and, handed her the book I wrote, that I’d planned to give to her. She was smiling so very, radiantly then, kept telling me, she will read my “masterpiece” thoroughly once she gets home, and gave me a big hug. Then suddenly, I’d felt that she wasn’t the straight-faced, with our graded math exams, and the stick, that devil that had come after us, for not making the grades anymore, and I wasn’t, that young man who lived in the nightmares of, barely passing math back then anymore, either.
Reason why she was like that, was probably because of the times, or maybe, she thought, that by being harsh to us, to MAKE us do better, was the only way she can fulfill her duties as a “teacher”. I admit, at first, I wasn’t, looked upon as someone who might achieve greatness, due to my, grades, but now, didn’t I prove to her too, that students who couldn’t make the better grades, can still, achieve greatness in her/his own, might?
And so, seeing her apology to us in the groups, I feel, nothing but the respect toward her courage. Before I went to bed, I’d, replied back to her, “times are no longer the same, the ways students and teachers relate to and interact with each other is also, quite, different too. We are all grown up now, and, passed through the ways we were educated based off of the times, I’m grateful for your company, and the lessons you’d, taught to, me!”
And, the group still remained, silent. I think, that being all grown up now, I no longer needed to live in the shadows of the past, anymore.
So, this is how deeply the disciplinarian means of being taught had affected us all, I still remembered back in the first grade, how my instructor had, twisted the students’ ears when they’d talked out of turn in class, how even the best students got physically punished, and none of us could, escape, because that was what was norm, until recent years, there’s the awareness of child abuse, and children’s rights, and that was when the corporal punishments had been, outlawed.
The Ivory Tower of My Mind 